Cure for the Wintertime Blues

Today the Canuck and I went snowshoeing. We bought snowshoes three years ago and today, we actually used them for the first time. WHY you ask? We had post-traumatic-the-van-almost-hit-a-building-stress-syndrome and everyone knows the average recovery time for said ailment is three years. Back up three years, we packed up our newly acquired snowshoes, packed up our youngest, and set out for a day of snowshoeing fun. Destination- a golf course up the canyon- it's a popular destination for winter activities. We pulled into the parking lot which had a slight incline towards the clubhouse. I know this because we almost became one with that clubhouse. With brakes applied, the van refused to stop and simply kept making a beeline for the building. I believe there were some words uttered by the Canuck that would have rivaled any sailor can not be written here. When we didn't actually make contact with the building, we decided we no longer felt like a fun day snowshoeing. The Canuck managed to get the van turned around and with the help of some kind gents pushing from behind, we got out of the parking lot and back on our way... home... The snowshoes hung in the garage until today. This time our destination was a trail closer to home and we were driving a full size SUV. I did have one pang of anxiety when I asked the Canuck if he'd brought a shovel to dig out the car if we got stuck... You would have to understand the hilarity of this given the fact that we not only drove on perfectly dry roads, we parked in a perfectly dry parking lot. We would have maybe needed a shovel if say, a giant dump truck accidentally unloaded on our vehicle. Today's outing turned out to be up there pretty high on the list of "super awesome things to do on a Saturday."

AND NOT just because we didn't almost become a lead story on the evening news about a couple whose vehicle went through a building. It was just fun. Utah really does have the best snow on earth, it's a scientific fact.

We tromped around in the snow, and learned quickly that there are certain things you can't do in snowshoes. Walk backwards for one.

However, you CAN fall backwards into a big fluffy bank of perfect Utah powder and laugh until your belly aches. And that my friends, is the perfect remedy for PTTVAHABSS. (See above for actual name.)

If you give a mouse a cookie...

If you give a man a Lowe's gift card for Christmas, chances are, you're going to end up spending 4 Xs as much as the face value of the card and end up with something not quite as exciting as -insert exciting thing here-. Yes, the Canuck received his go-to gift from his in-laws this Christmas- a Lowe's gift card. I, of course, had immediate visions of a new kitchen faucet, maybe one of those goose-neck ones with the high arch and pull-down spout? Oooh! Pretty! Of course, the card was for $50 and the goose was over $200. SO I really just had visions of a new kitchen faucet that had a working pull-out hose and one that was maybe it's original color. Eric had other visions, it was HIS gift card after all... Or was it. Things didn't quite go as planned. The faucet was pretty much on-hold for the time being, when what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a toilet with leaks springing from the rear! We can't prove anything, but it is with a highly suspicious nature that the leak began. BOTH girls were in the bathroom, and while there, the mystery leak began. It was leaking from between the tank and the bowl. As if... AS IF someone may have "accidentally" shoved someone leaned against the tank too hard and broke the seal around the screw that holds the potty top to the potty bottom. Well thank Al Gore for the internet because momma looked up how to fix the problem on YouTube. AND a kindly plumber from the deep south had posted a loverly piece on how to fix tank ta bowl problems. Thank you kindly dear plumber. And thank you for givin' us a go-to accent to use while settin' about to get a fixin' that toilut. A TRIP TO LOWE'S ENSUED! Where, the repair kit was purchased, and in a moment of total financial responsibility, a new hose was purchased for the kitchen faucet. NOT a new faucet. New hose- $27, New faucet? Much more than that. Just the hose. O.K. fine. Amazingly, the toilet repair worked the first time. At least it's been working for 5 days... HOWEVER. The hose? A no go. Leaving us without water in the kitchen- the new hose didn't fit and the old hose wouldn't go back. Which is fine because the packing tape repair job wasn't meant to be long term anyways... SO back to Lowe's we went. AND bought a new faucet. Goose neck no, but new nonetheless. It was a "so quick and easy even a hoser could do it," kind. Only the hoses weren't long enough reach the valves where the water comes out. So... either they make those hoses way way too short, or our house was built with no consideration for things like plumbing standards or following the blue print or we were the hosers for thinking something might be easy... That reminds me of a funny story. Nevermind. BACK to the store for extension hose thingies. They were gender benders if that makes sense to anyone. It simply means that the ends of the extension had to be the same. It's legal in Utah, we checked. ANYWHO. THEY FIT! And we had water, and it came out of a lovely new faucet. AND now we had water under the sink too! Because the valve where the hot water comes out? It was leaking! We talked nice to it, gave it a little twist, patted it dry... BUT no. Valve incontinence. SO back to Lowe's once again for a new valve. AND secretly, at this point, I obtained the numbers of SEVERAL local plumbers. And secretly, right before the Canuck turned off the main water to the house, I filled up a tub with water... Call it a total lack of confidence in a back-up plan just in case. He did it! He replaced the hot water valve. Folks, we are 3 days in and the only water in the kitchen is coming from the faucet and the dog's feet. (Dang dogs, won't they ever learn to to wipe their paws before walking around the kitchen?) The moral of the story is, if you give a guy a Lowe's gift card for Christmas, chances are he's gonna use it to fix a toilet which may mean momma gets her new faucet, and a whole list of who to call should something happen like this happen again...

20 years of street cred yo

The Canuck and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Which, until you've actually been married for 20 years, seems like a REALLY REALLY long time. And then you're married for 20 years and it's all, "20 years, that's nothing, we still feel like young newlyweds." Newlyweds who go to dinner at 4:30, wear reading glasses, and have kids in college, but still... Newlyweds. And it's been a great 20 years. I have been with this guy for so long that I can't actually remember what it was like to not be with him. In fact, I explained to him the other day that even though I didn't know him my first semester of college, it feels like he was there. Maybe that's because I can't remember what it feels like not have him be part of something. As we left the lovely resort where we spent our 20 year anniversary ordeal (which is a funny story in itself), we posed for a self portrait. We've been taking self portraits since cameras held film! We thought we'd be tricky and flash a 2 and 0 for 20. BUT alas, our gangsta street cred isn't quite so credible. Instead, we basically both flashed "scissors." To which we had to say, "TAKE THAT PAPER! TAKE THAT! WE WILL CUT YOU PAPER!" So much for looking hip, cool, or bad a. But after 20 years, who really cares. We're solid, like a rock. Which beats scissors every time.

Daily Bread

Argh matey! It be Cap'n Dough Hook! About, oh 9 years ago I asked for a super deluxe Kitchenaid mixer for my birthday. You know- the ginormo one from Costco that doesn't tilt back making it a pain in the spoon to add stuff to? (I have to confess, I didn't know about the non-tilting thing until after I brought it home and couldn't figure out how to make it tilt. HELL-O. It doesn't tilt. Derrr...) Back to the story, I had great visions of making homemade bread, filling the kitchen with that oh-so-yummy scent of fresh made goodness. Happy Birthday to me! I got the mixer, and on day one it blew-up. Well not literally blew-up, I didn't have Kitchenaid shrapnel anywhere, but it made a sound like, "Bzzz, zap, kapowie," and then it smoked a bit and that was that. Not a good omen for my career as a bread baker. Kitchie got replaced and that was about as far as the whole bread-making thing went. It didn't really help that Great Harvest was practically within walking distance and let me tell you, their hot berry-bread on a Saturday morning makes the perfect breakfast treat. Fast forward to 2010. I have once again been bitten by the bake the bread bug. I FINALLY got out that dough hook that's been taking up real estate in the cupboard for YEARS. So far, it's been a success. Except for the time I made a french loaf that my family described as, "It's like eating baked salt dough." Oh and the time that the entire bowl of dough just never quite stuck together. And there was the case of the "Well if it hasn't risen after 3 hours, it's probably not going to." Come to think of it, maybe I just need to head back to Great Harvest. Good thing we've found another use for that dough hook!

Milestones Dr. Spock didn't think of...

According to my latest neurotic google search about baby milestones, at 16 months a child should be able to walk well, turn the pages of a book, or get upset when frustrated. May be able to start to climb, walk backwards,or say 10-15 words. Could possibly dance, help around the house (really? and what help would that be? empty a cupboard? dump a laundry basket of freshly folded clothes?), or jump.

I don't think that list accurately gives a picture of what life is like with our 16month old. I have revised this list for my child. At 16 months, Bun is able to disappear in a store in under 3 seconds. (And manage to destroy 5 shelves of clothing displays while MIA. I found her carrying a STACK of shirts. Weirdo.) May be able to pick the lock on the gate at the carousel ride at the zoo. (However I maintain that it was the naughty 4 year old in front of us who managed to get the gate open, my kid just happened to be the one who busted through and ran as fast as she could towards the moving ride... Fortuntely 16 month olds have short legs, the zoo people outran cheetah baby before she actually reached the moving carousel.) And Bun could possibly river dance while bowling on the roof. (I'm not sure about the last one, but I'm not ruling it out.)

When you see my Bun, with her scraped knees, her latest I-run-too-fast-for-my-feet bruise, or her devil may care attitude just remember it's all part of her devolpement. At least in our house it is.

Who needs Zumba if you have a Rug Doctor!

As previously discussed, Bun has asthma. My third child has to create her version of first-in-the-family and so she has. She is the first with asthma. This new diagnosis has prompted her momma to rid the house of all dust, dander, and dog hair. (I DO hear the Mission Impossible theme song, I DO.) Today's chore was steaming the carpets. The rug doctor claims to be steaming mad at dirt, I happen to be steaming mad at asthma. We're a good match.

Have you ever steamed the carpets with a 14 month old running around? IMpossible- right? WRONG! Totally do-able. As you can see, I simply strapped the child onto my front and off we went! Bun is not a huge fan of loud noises so to make the event all the more fun, I danced, bounced, and sang all while steaming the carpets. See the image in your head? It IS as funny as it sounds. Just think of all the extra calories I burned with all that extra baby weight! 23 pounds to be exact. I haven't worked out this much since 2008! I may just make my own line of workout videos!

Words you don't want to read...

O.K. so here's the deal. Bun has asthma. And after about 14 months of denial, it's really official. (She's always been a "loud" breather... I suppose hoping all that "loud" breathing would go away just didn't work.) Time to face it head on and move forward. And doing what any momma would do, I neurotically scour the internet for any and all info. Which is when I come across the "Asthma causes people to go to the hospital or even die" line in the BREATHING EASIER WITH ASHTMA informational page. I'm sorry, but does anyone else see the problem with the title and info therein? And now I can't seem to get past the last word. I'm having google-induced-psychosis.

Die? I am just coming to terms with having to shove a mask on my babe's face while she screams 6 breaths. And then repeat. Die? I just started super deep cleaning everything in the house from top to bottom to try and reduce allergens. Die? I just bought every treat and toy I could think of to give her for the next 5 days while we go through "roid rage" from her steroids. Die? I just started her food journal so we could pinpoint what foods cause her the most problems. Die? I just made plans for getting the dogs groomed and shaved to see if it helps. Die? I just looked into special HEPA filters for the furnace. Die?

Is it inappropriate to write that I simply need to take a deep breath and calm down? I mean, isn't the inability to take a deep breath the whole reason I'm doing this???

Dear BREATHING EASIER WITH ASHTMA, either re-title your info BREATHING EASIER WITH ASTHMA SO YOU DON'T DIE or maybe, just maybe don't mention the DYING part on the first page. It makes it hard to think about the rest.

Sincerely,
Weezie's mom.