Enid Hoops

This is a post about the one time I found out my daughter was a radical feminist lesbian. It all started at the concessions table at her school. Wait, it all started last summer when her school hired a new artistic director... (Make wavy lines with your hands in front of your face right now- like you're going back in time. Oh! And add wahhh wahhh wahhh wahhh sound effects. And stop getting your panties in a wad, it's not what you think. For heaven's sake!) The new artistic director at the Salt Lake School for the Performing Arts is AMAAAAZING. (To be said like a 15 year old girl because that is how SHE describes Jan.) Jan chose the musical "Legally Blonde" for SPA last fall. As a freshman, Beanie was excited to be cast as something other than "chorus" for first high school musical. She was a TV News Reporter. I think she had about 4 lines, but WOW! That girl and those 4 lines? She practically stole the... Whatever, she did well. The whole cast did well. So well in fact that they were selected to perform their musical for a second run. This time for the Utah Theatre Association. (Now fast forward to present day, use sound effects if you want.) I was bringing water to sell at the concession stand the first night of the second run. But it rained ice that day and that is why I was late. My car has tires and not skates, it doesn't do as well on ice. I ran in walked in quickly taking little penguin steps trying not to drop 35 bottles of water and was greeted by the other concession moms. We did the usual "who do you belong to" introductions. When it came to my turn I said, "I'm Chloe's mom." To which I was greeted by a group of three moms excitedly squealing, "CHLOE! ARE YOU SO EXCITED? IT'S HER BIG NIGHT!" And I looked at them blankly. I mean, I knew she was good at those 4 lines, but I wouldn't exactly call it "big night" material. I asked if they meant MY Chloe. (AKA Beanie for those who would have no idea who Chloe is.) And yes. My Chloe. Remember how it rained ice that day? The Salt Lake City airport was closed. Planes don't have skates either. Two kids from the musical were stuck in a different state and with the airport closed they would not be making it back in time for the show that night. This might have been a problem if there wasn't a Beanie in the world. A Beanie who was asked after lunch if she thought she could learn an entire part and perform it that evening. Come on, it's Beanie. So yes, yes she could. And she did. And THAT was her big night. She was cast a a radial feminist lesbian law student named Enid Hoops. I wasn't planning on watching the show that night, but somehow the stage manager saved me a seat in the over-packed house and I got to have one of those moments that every child dreads- I bragged about Beanie to all the people sitting around me. Every. Last. One. The only thing that makes this kind of o.k. is that Beanie doesn't know about the bragging part. BUT I figured if she didn't have time to tell me she'd been re-cast that afternoon, I didn't have to divulge my secrets either. (O.K. hers wasn't really a secret, she was literally soo busy learning her lines, music, blocking, and cues that texting mom was kinda off the to-do list.) I wish I had a video of Beanie to show you, but I don't so go to YouTube and watch Harvard Variations from Legally Blonde. And be impressed- could you learn that part in a couple hours? How she managed to learn all those lines, spit them out like that, without a mistake? I have no words. Of course, afterwards, when I saw her and told her how amaaaazing she was, I also asked why it takes 2 months to put a show together. Heck- she learned her part in three hours!