Enduring Crap.

I don't even know how to begin this post. It's just my take on that age-old question, "WHY?" and at the same time, a tribute to a favorite uncle.

The Canuck and Beau left Saturday for a trip to Vancouver, B.C. Our uncle is ill, our dear, sweet, funny, caring, favorite uncle is suffering the kind of illness that only has one ending. The boys left early, drove quickly, and made it there in time. In time to hold a hand, express love, and even to have a laugh. The Canuck said that he will never be the same. He left part of his heart in B.C.

I'm thinking about our uncle's cancer and thinking. Why? Why does crap like this happen? And I am sorry that I can't make it sound more eloquent than "crap," but the only other words I can think of are "putrid crap." I'll stick with "crap."

And cancer isn't the only crap around. We all have had to suffer some kind of crap in our lives.

I could write volumes on that subject alone!

But I won't.

I just want to address the "why." I finally understood something a while back, or maybe I should say, I finally found an explanation I could live with. This occurred during a rough patch in our family planning. After a very exciting and happy Father's Day announcement regarding a newest family member, we were devastated a month later by a very heartbreaking and sad reality of a miscarriage. (ugh- this was after 2 years of this intervention and that intervention and $$$$$$ spent..... CRAP I tell you!) Why did this happen?

I had friends tell me maybe I wasn't meant to have more kids. I just couldn't buy into that line of thinking- like God was saying, "HA! NO KID FOR YOU!" I felt like God knew my sorrow and empathized with me. During a particularly spiritual moment, I realized that we came to this earth knowing it wouldn't be perfect. I suppose I always thought of that in terms of people- people wouldn't be perfect. But I don't think it's that limited. I think this world is not a perfect place, not just the people in it. Even the molecules get messed up and it just snowballs from there.

Our wonderful uncle has cancer. Why? Because this world is not a perfect place. And we have to deal with that.

We love you Uncle John. Even though this place isn't perfect, you were certainly the perfect uncle. Thank you.